When Kenneth was really furious, he would hold the phone at arms length and silently mouth the words to a berating that would make a sailor blush. 

Anthony had—what he would describe as, ‘European sensibilities’  but what the prosecutor would describe as ‘a compulsion towards indecent exposure’.

You would never have guessed to look at him, but until the age of 8 Erik had been raised by wild Orangutans – although he did have a habit of hurling faeces during stressful periods.

Maddy had imagined balloon flight would be more serene and generally lovely.

Nobody ever noticed Nikki at school. Partly because she was an introvert, but mostly because she was often below eye level.

The girls were right to exercise caution around William - he had red hair and that meant he was strange, different and yucky.

To save on travel costs you can smuggle your toddler in the overhead compartment, this will however require a regimented program of acclimatisation to make them feel comfortable in cramped dark spaces.

Simone smiled politely, “One movement, sleeper hold,” she thought to herself as the out of time strains of Longview burrowed deeper into her skull.

Sinead knew better than to accept ice cream from a stranger, but there was a trustworthy air about this man that put her at ease, and he had a puppy in the back of his van he was going to show her.

There were no two ways about it, Rory’s penchant for imitation designer handbags was starting to spiral out of control.